1/30/14 picks

Few picks again tonight, starting with Marquette 1st half -2.5 for 1 unit. Marquette under buzz Williams after a SU loss is 17-2 ATS in the 1st half of the next game. 

Other than that pick I just have .5 units on a parlay including 

Marquette 1H -2.5 

BYU -13

Leafs/panther o5.5

Ducks ML

Sharks ML 

To win 7 units. We'll see how shit goes tonight 

Throwback Thursday: Push It by Salt-N-Pepa

Honestly if you don't fuck with Salt-N-Pepa then I don't fuck with you.

1/28/14 picks

Absolutely killed it last night with those picks.. Put 3 units on the bruins over 

And parlayed the bruins over and kings under for 1.7 units. 

Ended the night with a solid 6.43 unit profit, leaving me +11.13 units so far... I can't be stopped, I am the Texas rattlesnake of betting. 

Recap: leafs won 3-2 so I would have lost my bet, luckily I fell asleep for 4 hours today and didn't have time to put my bet in... I'm still the rattle snake fuck with me

Royal Rumble 2014 Review

Not much love for the Royal Rumble last night. I caught some of it and there were some things that ticked me off but overall I enjoyed it. Absolutely loved the Orton vs Cena match. Even though it ended with my hometown boy Cena losing to Cam's fantasy man Orton I loved the match. I hope these two continue feuding till Wrestlemania. That should honestly be the main event but Cena can't have them all. Love the feeling of the WWE going back to the famous good vs evil story lines.

But on to the Royal Rumble itself, Bautista had no right winning that. Anyone else should have won but him. I can’t wait to see who they pin him with at Wrestlemania. If Bautista stays as the headline match at Wrestlemania he has to lose. Ricky Pancakes agrees with me that it will be stupid if he wins because they will keep him until he loses then he will retire. They did that shit with The Rock and it would be dumb to do it again. Another problem I had was that Kane fucking cheated. He took CM Punk out of it. I’m assuming that is to set them up for a match too but that is fucking stupid. Another thing I had a problem with was how the fuck do you disrespect JBL like that? Guy has never been in a Royal Rumble and the first one he is ever in he gets bounced in 2 minutes because he was taking off his suit jacket. The last thing I had a problem with was Rey Mysterio being the last one out of the gate. The 30 spot is saved for the biggest baddest mother-trucker out there. Not small Rey Mysterio. Don’t get me wrong Mysterio is an animal. Just not a big animal. Actually I lied, the last problem I have is that my boy Fandango didn’t win.
But as I am watching Monday Night Raw Daniel Bryan is the new face of the WWE. They can keep dragging CM Punk and Cena but times are changing and this guy is the new face of this organization. Unbelievable that Daniel Bryan wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. HUGE fuck up by the WWE. I think whatever they say on why he wasn’t in it, they simply fucked up. Whether you hate it or love it you can't deny it is fucking contagious. YES YES YES!
Note* Kofi Kingston will win a Royal Rumble within the next 5 years. Mark My Words.

My Bone To Pick With Macklemore & The Grammys

The new face of rap music ^ 
So I watched The Grammys and Wrestlemania last night (blog on that coming soon) and the hot ticket last night was Cam's boy Macklemore. Macklemore swept the rap categories and I have to say I am not too happy about it. I respect Macklemore for what he does I just don't like his music. I don't think it is right for him to win the rap categories. Throw him in something else I don't care. Kendrick Lamar deserved to win for "Good Kid M.A.A.D. City". The album was unreal. I just think it is a shot to rap all together having Macklemore win it. I'm probably the biggest dickhead for saying it but it is what it is. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM I have with all of this is that Macklemore's album "The Heist" came out in 2012 (so did Kendricks). The Grammy's don't go by the gregorian calendar. It is fucking stupid. The music's eligibility for the 2014 was from Oct. 2012 - Sept. 2013. So that means the chart-topping albums from Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, and Eminem's album won't be eligible till next years. All in all, The 2014 Grammys were just "ehh". Some highs, some lows, and some wtf. Also if this photo text on instagram between Macklemore and Kendrick is true I respect Macklemore. If not then fuck him.
Ps. The Kendrick performance was sweet

How Exciting Was The Pro Bowl Last Night?

No fucking clue. Didn't have any desire to watch it. Didn't care that it was a fantasy draft. Didn't care that teammates were hitting teammates. Didn't care that it came down to one point. I just didn't fucking care about any of it. It sucks too because every other sport I will watch at least some of it. The only one I will watch is the MLB All Star Game because there is something worth playing. I love it. And I'm not even that big of a baseball fan, but I love the MLB All Star Game. My advice to the NFL is to just cancel the fucking thing. Or make it a 7 v 7 flag football game or something. I think I would rather watch that. Give the players their Pro Bowl honors then let them do whatever they want. Unfortunately football is something you can't really go 50% when you play. Just ask Bill "Pussy Slayer" Belichick, when he was blowing the jock strap off every team in 07 he told the media you can't go 50% or someone gets hurt. The Pro Bowl just sucks and I honestly have no idea how they can save it. As for Nick Foles getting the MVP? cool. I don't know just don't really care. Cuncel the Pro Bowl.


 "Seth Kaplan of FOX 9 News in Minnesota reported that the game received 11.7 million viewers on Sunday, which was a half-million fewer than the 12.2 million viewers the game received in 2013. There were 12.5 million viewers in 2012, per Kaplan. Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/sbnation/SBNation_20140127_Pro_Bowl_2014__Ratings_drop_despite_overhaul.html#ipZ7IoOYzfbvDbiU.99"

The fuckin picks 1/27/14

Only have a few picks tonight, I'm going with the bruins islanders o5.5 and the kings sharks u5. 

Islanders have gone over the posted total in 5 of the past 5 games, bruins will be playing a goalie with a 3.03 GAA. Bruins have been scoring quite a bit lately especially after that 6-1 win over philly, not to mention the The islanders are 3-11 in their past 14 home games and 1-4 in their last 5 when their opponent scores 5 goals or more in it's previous contest. Even with chad johnson in net I think the b's get the W and the total goes over 

Prediction: B's take it 4-3 in regulation 

Sharks kings are both good teams, even though the kings have been playing like absolute garbage, quick will be in net for them, and will keep the sharks low scoring, and in net for the sharks is the infamous Alex Stalock, he's had two starts this season going 2-0 with both games being shutouts. He has stopped 44 shots in a row with a 0.76 GAA and .977 SV% at home this season. I think he plays another great game and quick plays outstanding as always, I say sharks win 2-1 in regulation. Hopefully I can take in some cash tonight, I need it $$$$$$

Snake out 

1/25/14 picks

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Happy Friday!

Have a good one writers and readers, I'm giving you the week off 

Possible first ever Daily Something Video from the charity event Big Red and I are doing Sunday. Let's hope my legs don't fall off!

Seriously, who are the psychopaths that run fake celebrity twitters?

Fill Werrell? that's hilarious...

I do not understand what kind of psycho takes the time to run one of these things. I really don't get it. first off, what's the point? You get all these followers but they don't know who you are... You're not famous because you have 2 million followers. Give it up...

Secondly, Not one of their tweets are original. literally, they all just copy and paste each other. the worst part about it is they tweet the same exact shit. it's the same lame jokes every day.

the Worst of the Worst are the ones that tweet inspirational tweets. Do you seriously think people get inspired by a fake fucking twitter account? all these people need to get locked up in loony bins. 

Another thing, how the fuck does this one have 2 million followers? what the fuck... who are the 2 million people who follow a fake Will Ferrell twitter? they all need to be locked up in loony bins with them. They can share the same stupid jokes with each other in there... so we don't gotta deal with it. 

#jack nicholson#one flew over the cuckoo's nest#one flew over the cuckoos nest#best movie#gif#funny#funny gif#crazy#shit#on the floor#everything#nicholson#great acting#acting#actor

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Is this "Average"?

Honestly, one of my biggest pet peeves about chicks' pictures online is that I swear you'd think the point was to deceive you instead of actually show you what they look like. Like, if every picture is so close I can see your boogers, I'm gonna assume you are a beluga whale outside the frame. If all you pictures have fancy filters on them, I'm gonna assume you have bad acne or some shit. If all of your pictures are with other, prettier girls, you're not gonna look prettier by association; in fact, you're gonna stick out like a fat sore thumb. If you are wearing sun glasses in every picture, I have to automatically knock you down from a 7 to a 5 cuz why else would you be hiding? Look, the point is, unless you wana get on the the show cat fish, there is no point to tricking people into thinking you look hotter than you are. You just gotta be honest. You'll have to settle for someone who's into your caliber of women, but hey, it's better than wasting your time. I wana know what you're going to look like when I am sitting directly across from you, not what you look like from this such angle, in this such filter, with this such hat on, 5 years ago when you used to be 20 such pounds lighter.

But the worst offenders are the ones who just straight up contradict what you can see in plain sight. Exhibit A, this girl who listed her body type as "Average."

What in the name of Pistol Pete are you talking about? You must have misread the question "What is your body type" as "What is your body type in relation to the average Division 3 college lineman,"--easy mistake. I can see you right here in this picture that you consumed two whole leopards immediately before this photo was taken and then fashioned their skin into your dress. You are clearly heavyset at best. It's one thing to be overweight. But to be overweight and think that I'm gonna see the word "average" and be like, "Oh, well she looks fat in all six of these pictures, but she must not be cuz, I mean, she put average, dude," is ludicrous. I'm sure you're a nice girl and all down (really, really) deep, but self denial is not healthy, babe. And neither are those 12 baconators I know you have stuffed in your purse. I guess some people just have a very subjective definition of average.

Big Red, out.

P.S. - That 12 burgers line reminded me. Next time I go to the McDonalds drive-thru and they ask what I want, I kinda wana just try saying "The value menu."

P.P.S. - Or maybe this in genius? Maybe I'll put that I'm 6'3" and have to buy especially tailored pants to fit my Jurassic Pork and when they meet me in person they will just forget? 

Week 1 of Okcupid, Soul Mate Found.

As promised I've started my journey for love on OkCupid. Noticed a couple trends right off the bat. First of all, one of the basic profile questions is "What is the first thing people notice about you," and I shit you not, 98.9% of the girls on there say my smile and my eyes. Try being a little creative ladies, everyone knows people notice your eyes and mouth first for cryin out loud; probably because you are talking to them and hence they have to.

"I think we both know."

My personal favorite was from this girl who we'll say has a "healthy" chest. her answer to "what do most people first notice about you" was "I think we both know." Love it. Straight to the point and honest. That's what you need in a soul mate. She also answered the question, "How would you categorize your sex drive compared to other people your age and gender?" She could have picked average, above average, below average. Nope, she picks "insatiable." Aka if she's not chewing on a tubesteak or blowing a beef whistle for more than a couple minutes, all hell breaks loose. There ain't a fire hose this side of the Mississippi that has enough water in the tank to satisfy this chick's yearning for the ol' purple-headed yogurt slinger. It don't matter if your meat thermometer's about to ding, this turkey needs more cookin! She's the Hercules to your one-eyed-monster. The King Arthur to your Excalibur. The Poo-Bear to your honey hose. The Bin Laden to your weapon of ass destruction. The Kobayashi to your mayo shooting hotdog gun. The Laura Croft to your Womb Raider. She-lika-da-way-da-dick-taste.

Anyway, to the question: "Would you allow your partner to decide what you wear to bed?" she said "Yes, always." I'll tell ya what, be careful what you wish for Ms. "Verdictless" (her screen name) cuz I've got more ideas on what you should wear to bed than days left in your life. Next question: "Have you ever had sex with a person within the first hour of meeting them?" Answer: "Yes." Well, I came to this site to find my soul mate and avoid the weird sex addict people, but I think what we've learned here today is that if you look a little deeper, you find that Jesus is trying to tell me that they are one in the same. I'll see you on wedding day. Best part is, she's already dressed.