You see, back when I was going to UMass, I used to have this short, Filipino room mate name Marc. Wicked chill kid, love him. But Marc was a little weird. He smoked weed A LOT, still used AIM at age 23, and generally was just a goofy guy. But one of the weirdest things that stood out to us about Marc was that even though we were in an absolute sea of scrumtrulescent vagine at UMass, Marc was using this dating website called OkCupid. Maybe he had low expectations for himself, maybe he was too shy to talk to/take home girls from class or the bars like we were, or maybe he just wanted to know more about the person by reading their profile before meeting them. I don't know. But either way, Marc was pulling in tail. About as much as the rest of us in fact. Now, don't get me wrong, Marc has extremely low standards, and these girls were mostly hideous, but the point remains, he was still making connections with people enough to get them over and under his sheets.
So here I am, sitting at my desk at MIT doing the most boring temp job on the face of the planet. Realizing that I barely have time to go to the gym by the time I get home every day. Realizing that I have no choice but to go to the gym though, cuz if I don't, well, the girls aren't gonna flock to me for my red hair, let's just say that. Realizing that when I finally do go out on weekends, it's always with the same girls and guys whom I love, but at the same time I know them way too well and every girl involved I'm either strictly friends with or have already hooked up with and don't want to go back down that road. Realizing that this basically leaves me with a 3% chance of meeting anyone new on a given week, which leaves me about a 1% chance that we will both be attracted to each other, leaving about a 0.1% chance that we will hit it off in addition, leaving about a 0.001% chance that they will also be single, leaving about a 0.0000001% chance they are all those things and still somehow don't have a venereal disease. You get the picture.
So I texted Marc to get his advice on if I should try it. He says "it's a fun time. And you'll kill it." Well, I've never heard a more convincing product review in my life.
So I'm doing it. For your entertainment pleasure, and the fact that my life is way too boring for my own god right now, I'm going to spice things up a little bit with what I like to call the "OkCupid Experiment." I'm going to create an OkCupid profile for free and let you in on any and all the weirdest, most funny, most disastrous chicks I can find on there (and maybe even my experience with them if I get that far) because I expect there might be a lot of them. There's a whole world of online dating amusement out there that no one is capitalizing on. So I will wear the cape. I really don't know how many people I will find online worth actually hooking up with, so this might be mostly an experience of joking, tomfoolery, and lightheartedness that isn't taken too seriously. Or maybe I will find a soul-mate. Or get catfished. Or be a catfish. Whatever happens, I'm taking you along for the ride. For you, for me, but most of all, for Marc. Onward!
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